Quarterly Reviews - Part 1

For those of you that have been giving us quizzical looks and asking "What on earth are quarterly reviews?" - this series is for you.

In Columbia, South Carolina we were part of a newlywed Sunday School class at Shandon Baptist. We LOVED it and I often miss these smiley faces and these crazy people. So, when Kynn and Lorie, our newlywed Sunday School teachers, asked us to write a blog post on Quarterly Reviews we were honored and thrilled on so many levels.

I keep telling Danny that I one day I'm going to write a book on Quarterly Reviews, so, considered this my starting draft and consider yourselves my editors.

Kynn and Lorie published the full series on their blogs here and here, if you want to check them out.

We gave a short intro of ourselves for their blog, since their current newlywed class really has no idea who we are. I'll only give it to ya'll once though - because surely you know enough about us to write very long bios yourself.

Danny and Laura Stiller were married on August 27, 2005. They fell in love while leading an inner city ministry together after college in Bryan, Texas. Two weeks before their wedding, while Laura was busy finalizing wedding plans and dreaming of marital bliss, Danny decided they needed to move to Greenville, SC for a better job opportunity and to pay off debt FASTER. Somehow, during their first two years of marriage, they moved four times, and squeezed there in the middle was a year in Columbia, SC and the Harris' newlywed Sunday School class. They are now half-way through the four years it takes to get a Masters of Theology from Dallas Theological Seminary, and are maintaining their sanity with date nights, quarterly reviews, and lots of hearty "communication." They blog regularly at: thestillers.blogspot.com.

Quarterly Reviews - Part 1

SHEPHERDING YOUR WIFE THROUGH QUARTERLY REVIEWS by Danny Stiller

I want to let you know I don’t have everything figured out when it comes to being a husband. But there is one thing I have resolved to do in my marriage, and that is to be involved. I have and will continue to make mistakes, hurt my wife and screw things up I - I can live with this. But what I cannot live with is not being involved in the life and affairs of my family.

In up-coming posts, my wife will be sharing with you a habit that we have developed that we call Quarterly Reviews. She will tell you how we came up with this idea, and how we go about doing them. Before those are posted, I wanted to start by addressing the husbands that might be reading.

Husbands have a responsibility to shepherd their wives. Since you probably don’t wake up in the morning to go tend sheep, or know anyone who does, I want to share some thoughts I have received from older men about what it means to shepherd your wife.

Shepherding means to cover, protect, counsel, guide, challenge, call out, confront, comfort and encourage. My challenge to you is to take this information about quarterly reviews, make it your own, initiate a plan with your wife, begin to cultivate your marriage, shepherd and engage your wife in the process and start being involved.

FOR THOSE INTERESTED THE BIBLICAL BASIS SHEPHERDING YOUR WIFE:

In 1 Peter 5:1-4, Peter is addressing the elders of churches and instructing them to shepherd the flock that is in their care. In verse four it says, “Then when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that never fades away." The Chief Shepherd is Jesus.

Keeping this picture of Jesus as the Chief Shepherd in mind, I would like to look at Ephesians 5:25-29. Here, husbands are called to love their wives like Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her. In verse 28, husbands are commanded to take care of their own bodies, feeding it and taking care of it. Christ shepherds the church, feeding it and taking care of it; we do this for our own bodies; and we are to do this for our wives.

For more ways to shepherd your wife and for further teaching on authentic masculinity go here to download the podcast series “A Man and His Wife” (clicking on it in the right hand column).