Letters to Cason - The One Where You Were Made to Be A Big Brother

Dear Sweet Cason,

This is how you look at your baby brother ALL. THE. TIME. It melts my emotional, mama heart. You wake up running around the house calling for Baby Colt. It sounds like Bebe Dolt, but we don't care it's adorable. You want to make sure he has his paci, that he's okay and that he has a blanket or stuffed animal or some sort of lovie nearby.

I was worried how you would transition from being the baby to being the middle brother and you've showed me that you were made for the big brother role. You were never meant to be our baby. Your nurturing heart needed a little guy to come along so ya'll could have a special bond, a unique relationship. 

You choose Colt over playing with toys many times throughout the day. You're content just looking at him, bouncing him and showing him your favorite things! "Green man Colt! Green man!"

I pray that your bond of brotherhood grows strong and deep throughout the years. I hope ya'll learn to protect and stand up for one another - that no one will mess with a Stiller brother because they'll have all three of you to deal with if they do. I can't wait to see the adventures on which you drag and include Colt. I pray you have the patience to wait up for him when he's not as fast as you, and the compassion to be by his side when he's forging into new things. 

Love deep and serve selflessly sweet boy and know that one day your brothers can be your very best of friends.

- Mama

Waking Up Cason

Sweet Cason Boy - 

I cherish your nap time. For obvious reasons, like "Mama needs a break," or "Let the chaos cease for two minutes, please!" But I also cherish nap times because it reminds me that you're little. It freezes time for a little bit every afternoon. 

One day the world won't stop for your naps any more. You'll want to be busy all day long and it will probably wear me out to no end. One day you won't sleep in your crib, you'll be in the big boy bed for naps and night time. And one day you won't even sleep under our roof. You'll be big and strong and grown and conquering life on your own. 

I'll look back on these days of long afternoon naps and remember how small you were, how cuddly you were, and how you fit in my lap to rock. And I'll be happy and sad all at the same time. Because somehow that's how motherhood works. You rejoice that your children are growing and it's so exciting to enter a new stage, and yet you mourn what you're leaving behind. As the weeks, months and years speed up you realize that the days are fleeting and that the napping children in all the bedrooms are only there for a minute. And so, I'll take more pictures of you sleeping and waking, and of course I'll sing "Jesus Loves Me" with you in my arms a million more times. I'm so glad you asked for "mer."

Happily your mama!

Sweet, Snuggly Cason

Sweet, Snuggly Cason -

You are are slow-to-wake child. Every afternoon you call to me from your crib with a precious little "Mommy. Mommy. Mommy." The minute I open the door you grab your stuffed animals and reach up your arms for me to pick you up. The minute you're in my arms you rest your head on my shoulder and request "Bible," which is your word for "Jesus Loves Me." 

We sit in the rocker in the nursery cuddling and singing, sometimes for a solid 10 minutes before you sit up and point to the hallway and ask for "Nin nin and Daddy" (translation: Cannon and Daddy).  I look forward to our afternoon snuggles every day, for I know pretty soon you won't request them and there will also be another "baby" vying for my arms every day. 

I hope you want to snuggle for years to come. If you're anything like you're Daddy, which I think you are, you'll love to snuggle for decades to come. But for now I'm treasuring the days that you fit on my lap and can rest your head on my shoulder. 

Sweet dreams sweet boy. And when you wake up we'll sing "Bible" for as long as you want.

Love, 

Mommy

Bathtime Babe

Oh dear boy,

I don't think I could ever tire of your antics. You discover life (peekaboo with the towel in this instance) and it delights you. We smile because you smile, and then you realize you're making us smile so you do it all the more. You love it when we're all laughing, tickling, chasing, and wrestling. Sometimes you can be quite the instigator, and I think one day you will love a good party. 

Some days these moments are hard, tiring, mundane and dull. I just want to bathe you and get you to bed so I can sit down for a second and catch my breath. Other days I sit back and realize that these moments are what my life is for. My life isn't the blog post I'll write after you go to bed, the book I'll read or the way the house will look when I've finally picked up those darn toys. God gave you to us so that I could splash the bath water with you, laugh as you dry off and sing endless songs before bedtime. One day I won't miss the craft I did or didn't finish on a week night, but I will miss those big brown eyes peeking out at my from that towel.

Here's to many more slow moments full of smiles, Cason. 

I love you!

Cason Time

Sweet Cason - 

Every so often you wake up from your nap before Cannon. It's then that you and I get a few moments of "Mommy and Cason" time. It's so rare that it's precious. 

You're at this fun stage where everything is a new discovery to you. Colors, animals, shapes, sounds. It's all thrilling to you and we can repeat the same word back and forth a dozen times before you move on to something else. You are very content to play by yourself, so I just sit and watch you most times. I think you just enjoy having all the toys to yourself. You don't have to rush, compete for a favored car, or worry that someone's going to snatch anything out of your hands. You still love to put things in your mouth, and although you know that you're not suppose to (and you take things out the minute I tell you to), it's still one of your favorite things. And yes, sometimes I don't wonder if I didn't give birth to a little Cookie Monster.

Before long, our time is over and Big Brother comes strolling from his nap dressed in his latest get-up, and it's time to share again. 

I love you little guy and I cherish our fleeting moments of one-on-one time. 

Love, Mommy

Letters to My Boys - June 2013

Because one day I will forget these moments and because one day I want them to know how much I loved these little days with them . . . I've joined a little blog circle with my friends. We're writing notes to our children every month. Because they are important to us. Because these days are fleeting. Because maybe, just maybe, one day I'll laugh at the chaos, the messes, and the memories.

Be sure to check out my friend, Niki's, sweet letter to her twins.

**Playing with the camera on Mommy's new and first ever smart phone!**

Cannon & Cason,

I'm sitting here trying to think of what I would tell you if I could tell you anything.

What is the most important thing I should say to you right now?

What will you need to hear 10 years, or even 20 years, from now? What will you want to hear? What will you have always wished Mom would have told you? Will you ever even read/see this footprint I'm leaving for you on the internet?

Will you want to know that we spent these early years at the playground, at library story hour, cuddled on the couch reading books, building and tearing down block towers, and digging holes in the weed-ridden back yard.

Will you want to know how proud I am of you, how happy I am to be your mother? That I am so thrilled to have you for my sons. Every day I am amazed at the new things you're learning, the creativity you exhibit, the imagination that comes soaring from your mind. But really I'm just proud because you're mine. I get to say I'm Cannon and Cason's mom!

Will you want to know that Duck Dynasty is currently all the rage on tv, that Facebook is pretty much taking over the web, and that the iPhone 5 and the Galaxy S4 are considered cutting edge technology?

Will you want to know how very sorry I am for the days I lose my temper, snap at your toddler antics, and take "just a minute" on the computer because I just want a break? I am sorry. I am learning. I'm trying. I make mistakes. I'm praying that "love will cover a multitude of sins." (1 Peter 4:8)

If ever there's a moment I'm not smiling (which some days is alot), Cannon, you're so quick to ask me if  I'm happy. Yes, son. I'm so happy that I get to spend my days watching the creation God is knitting together right before my very eyes in the shape of two rambunctious boys.

I love you! And I'm happy I'm your mom!

Letters to My Children - April 2013

Because one day I will forget these moments and because one day I want them to know how much I loved these little days with them . . . I've joined a little blog circle with my friends. We're writing notes to our children every month. Because they are important to us. Because these days are fleeting. Because maybe, just maybe, one day I'll laugh at the chaos, the messes, and the memories.

Be sure to click through and read my friend, Carrie's, sweet letter to her twins.

Littlest One -

I'd like to introduce you to two very special boys.

These are your brothers . . . your big brothers. They don't always dress like that, but we are big Duck Dynasty fans.

They are going to love you very much. They will smother you in kisses and tackle you to the ground, maybe in the same breath.

We heard your heartbeat last week. It was music to our ears. We saw your little profile, your tiny arms and your quickly beating heart. You are alive and well and we've told the world that you're coming.

If you're a girl, you'll be the very protected princess (or the tom boy trying to keep up with your brothers' adventures). If you're a boy, you'll be our third musketeer (another "C" to make the perfect Stiller trifecta).

We are so excited to meet you. I'll warn you now - there will be dirty diapers, toy-cluttered floors, and you're probably going to have to cry a bit to be heard over your older brothers. But I promise there will be lots of snuggles, tender kisses, play time on the floor, and long walks in the fresh air. Life is going to be crazy, but we can't wait to welcome you to our adventure.

I love you baby!

Mama

Letters to My Boys - March 2013

Because one day I will forget these moments and because one day I want them to know how much I loved these little days with them . . . I've joined a little blog circle with my friends. We're writing notes to our children every month. Because they are important to us. Because these days are fleeting. Because maybe, just maybe, one day I'll laugh at the chaos, the messes, and the memories.

Check out Carolyn's letter to here daughter here.



Boys - my rambunctious, crazy boys,

In one split instance my mommy heart is shattered into a million pieces of hope.

Most days you drive me crazy. Most days you drive each other crazy. Cason has learned to bite. Why did he pick up that defense mechanism? Because a particular big brother has a strong affinity for snatching every toy out of his little brother hands.

Our ears ring with "Don't knock him over! Don't hit him! Don't slap him in the face! Don't hit him on the head with that car! Don't bite! Don't take that toy out of his hand! Don't! Don't! Don't!" until we're all frazzled.

I'm sure you're just as tired of hearing it as I am of saying it.

Many days I lose hope that you'll ever be kind towards one another, that you'll share play time and toys without bickering, that you'll be great friends.

And then in one fleeting second you show love. Cason leans in for a kiss on Cannon's cheek. Cannon rubs Cason's back and says "It's okay baby." when he's crying. Cannon brings Cason a toy to play with UNPROMPTED. Ya'll hold hands in the back seat and giggle at each other.

And my mommy heart swells with joy and I pray that a gracious Abba grows a second of tenderness into a lifetime of brotherhood.

I love you boys. You still can't hit each other (when I'm around), but I love you very much.

Mommy

Letters to My Boys - February 2013

Because one day I will forget these moments and because one day I want them to know how much I loved these little days with them . . . I've joined a little blog circle with my friends. We're writing notes to our children every month. Because they are important to us. Because these days are fleeting. Because maybe, just maybe, one day I'll laugh at the chaos, the messes, and the memories.

Be sure to head on over Liesl's blog to read her precious letter to her second son, Landon!

My Boys,

You are my little adventurers. You are braver together than apart. I love that. And I hope it will bode well for surviving any scrapes and mishaps you may encounter together.

You are at this crazy stage where you both copy each other. Often times your antics spiral into this mess of screeching and giggles until neither of you know what's going on, your only objective is to be louder than your brother.

Life is rough and beautiful right now. How is that possible? I don't really now. All I know is that some days are full of hours of creative play, cuddles over picture books and swinging at the park. Some days flow and life feels right. And then other days are filled with whining, hitting, tug-of-wars, no naps, and lost patience - intense reminders that I don't know what I'm doing as your mom. I pray often for God's grace over my mistakes and for all of us to understand how incredibly great His love is for us.

I love you my munchkins. Please sleep through the night tonight. ;-)

Mama

Cason at 12 Months

**Cason is our cuddle bug, freely sharing hugs and kisses even with his bear.**

Cason,

Wow .  One year has gone by pretty fast.  I remember the morning you were born like it was yesterday.  I was the first person to hold you in my hands after you were born, and I placed you on your mother’s chest to cuddle.  I am so happy God gave you to us to be a part of our family.  I am so happy to be your dad.  It is one of the greatest responsibilities of my life.  I love you very much and look forward to seeing who God has made you to be.

Something I noticed about you the day you were born is that you are very strong.  That is still true today, 365 days later.  It is good that God made you stout because Cannon is really pushing you around, and I am not always there to keep him from sitting on you and wrestling with you.  Both of you will keep each other on your toes.

You are also a cuddler.  I am too.  When you were days old, you did a lot of cuddling with Mommy and me. 

Recently you started waking up on the middle of the night crying uncontrollably.  Just the other night, you woke up while I was watching TV, about to get ready for bed.  I came into your room and picked you up, took you out on the couch. We cuddled, watched some TV and you fell asleep on my chest just like you did when you were days old.  We also cuddle when we wrestle on the floor or in my big bed.

Your smile is brilliant and bright.  Your face lights up the room when you smile and your big cheeks and jaw spread wide.  I love seeing you smile and seeing all of your teeth.  I like watching you make faces at the table when you eat and scrunch your nose. 

When you are happy your smile is bright.  When you are upset or uncomfortable, you really do know how to exercise your lungs.  You have a powerful voice.  I hear it when you are upset, hungry or you and your brother are mimicking each other at the table.

I love you, I am so proud of you and I think you are awesome!  I love being your daddy and taking care of you.  I am always available anytime you want to talk, cuddle or wrestle.

Happy Birthday,

Daddy

My dearest Cason Reed.

How are you already one year old? Tonight you asked for a napkin (just pointing and grunts), wiped your mouth with the napkin, and then returned the napkin to the table. You are doing new things every day and it blows me away.

Tonight I snuggled you extra long after nursing. You would lean back in my arms and grin and then plunge your head forward and bury it in my chest for a snuggle. We did this over and over again. When you were tired of that you tucked your head under my chin and I sang. Every so often you'd look up and plant a big wet open mouth kiss on my cheek and then go back to cuddling. We again repeated this numerous times until you were ready for bed and pointing to your pack and play. My word child, you are the sweetest (unless your hungry or tired, then you're the loudest). Where did you come from? I'm so glad you joined our family 365 days ago. Life would be so quiet without you in it.

You are going to be a handlful of joy as you grow up. I can't wait to see who God created you to be, the personality he's given you, and the interests and talents you'll develop.

Sleep well tonight Son. Happy birthday! All my love always.

Mama

**Sometimes, just sometimes, my photoshoots push my children to the brink of insanity.**

Cason Reed - 

I feel like your life is flying by. Sometimes I look at pictures of your first few weeks and can't believe you were so small. You'll be a year old in just two short months. I'm avoiding thinking about your first birthday party as if ignoring it will mean that it won't happen, that I won't blink and find out you're taller than me.

You are my wild child. You do everything with gusto - you stuff handfuls of food into your mouth like cookie monster; you pull up and stand only to fall smack down into a tuck and roll; you throw your head back and laugh with your mouth wide open. You are a ball of intensity, and it makes us smile every day. You do nothing half way. You are completely happy or completely frustrated. There is no middle ground with you. 

You love your brother, you LOVE food, you love to talk, and you love playing with whatever is entertaining Cannon at the moment. You are starting to stick up for yourself by screeching when Cannon attempts to take toys out of your hand. I say "attempt" because you hold on for deal life while giving him an earful. I have a feeling this is just the beginning of the beautiful back and forth relationship of brothers. 

I love you Cason Reed - all the happy and loud and crazy parts of you. You fill our lives with laughter.

Mama

Cason at 8 Months

Dear Cason,

When I found out your mom and dad were having another baby I was overjoyed and couldn't wait for you to come into this world. I already feel we have a special bond as we are both the younger brother in our families. I was blessed to have been the younger brother to your dad who is an excellent roll model and someone I can always count on. I can assure you Cannon will do the same because there is a special bond brothers share that cannot be broken.

I am really looking forward to spending time with you, forming many memories, and creating a lifelong friendship.  I want you to always know that you can turn to me in good times and bad if there is ever anything you need. You should always make sure you make family your first priority and know that we are all here to support and love you. It is also very important that you follow your heart through this journey of life and live your dreams. At the end of the day, you decide who you want to be and you make the decisions that get you there.

You and your brother mean a lot to me and I take my responsibility as an uncle very seriously. I have big shoes to fill as my uncles have always been a big part of my life and impacted me greatly with many cherished memories never to be forgotten. You will always have a very special place in my heart and January 6th, 2012 will always be your day.

Love,
Uncle Chris

Cason at 6 Months

 

Dear Cason,

What a wonderful boy you are! Six months old already. It seems like only yesterday we received the great news of your arrival from your Mommy and Daddy. Great Grandma and I can't believe how blessed we are to have you for our second great grandson. Since we live so far apart, you in Texas and we in New York, we can't get to see you in person too much; but, your Mom as she did with your big brother Cannon, has sent us so many pictures we have been able to keep up with your development and activities. They do not take the place of being able to see you in person and being able to hold you, hug you and kiss you.

This we were finally able to do when you and your Mommy, Daddy and Cannon were able to visit with us for Father's Day. We couldn't believe how big, beautiful and good a baby you were during your visit. Never once did you cry. You always were smiling whenever anyone talked or otherwise held you or played with you. It didn't matter where you were - home at our house or visiting with your cousin Olivia, on the boat trip over the waters of New York harbor or wherever you happened to be. You can see it all on the DVD we sent you and your Mom and Dad and Cannon.

Great Grandma and I hope we will be able to get together again soon. Pictures are great but there's nothing like the real thing. Until we meet again, remember we love you dearly and you are in our thoughts and prayers each day. May the good Lord bless you and keep you.

Your loving Great Grandparents, Marilyn & Hank

Cason at 3 Months

Scooter (a.k.a Cason Reed Stiller),

Yes, you get a nickname too.

I can’t believe how quickly three months have passed since you were born.  It seems like only yesterday that Nana and I got the call at 3:15 in the morning informing us that your arrival was imminent.  We just didn’t know how imminent as we received another call only an hour later that you had made your arrival.  We quickly dressed and hurried to the Allen Birthing Center to meet you for the first time.

I was going to “complain” to Mom and Dad that I hadn’t gotten to see you enough, but we got some time on Saturday and yesterday (Easter) to hang out.  I can’t believe how much you’ve grown and developed in three short months.  From the day you were born you’ve had beautiful bright eyes exploring everything around you.  I’ve learned that you like to be upright.  When you’re a little upset, I can take you outside for a walk.  But, you don’t like to lie back.  You like being upright so you can see everything in its proper perspective.  Also, when we sit in my chair, you’re most content when you sit upright in my arm and can watch the activity taking place around you.  Lying down just doesn’t cut it.

I was just looking at some pictures of you and Boomer.  I look forward to watching the two of you grow up together.  You have this wonderful opportunity to have a brother who is not much older than you.  You’ll always have a built-in best “bud.”

Papa Bill

Want to compare? Cannon at 3 Months

Dear Cason-

You've been waking up more in the middle of the night the last three nights. The first two nights I was frustrated. Tonight I tried to embrace it. I listened to your breath. Felt the softness of your hair and head on my cheek. Saw your tiny mouth smile as you dreamed. Matched the rhythm of my breath to the rise and fall of your chest. Felt the lightness of your hand resting over my heart and I sighed. I know it won't be like this forever. The sleepless nights will disappear along with your smallness that fits under my chin and on my chest, and so tonight I exchange my dreams for you because I know one day I'll be dreaming to have this moment all over again.

Mama

Your Smile Makes Me Smile

Dear Cason -

I think the Lord knew I need smiles in my life when he gave you to us. You are our smiley baby boy. You smile in your sleep, you smile at the frog on your activity mat, you smile at strangers, you smile at your brother and you smile in the midst of your hardest cries when I lean over and look into your eyes.

You light up when people are around and when someone talks to you. You might just be our little social butterfly. Although your brother's not a shy one either.

Sometimes, when we're all having a rough day and I'm getting frazzled and worn out, I stop. I stop just to hold you. Your smile makes me smile and your cuddles make a long day so much better. A little time on the couch in the middle of the chaos and pretty soon I'm laughing at you, you're laughing at Cannon and we're all feeling much better about the day.

Thank you for smiling Son. It's beautiful.

I love you -
Mama