Maternity Pictures by Joyful Portraits

I know from carrying Cannon around that one day I'll miss these big-belly days (even though I'm dying to share the load and let someone else carry Cason just for a MINUTE!). So, I wanted to get a few pictures to commemorate the pregnancy belly before it was gone.

I forgot my second outfit (oh the joys of trying to get out of the house with a toddler) but still love these photos that Shadee took for us! Be sure to "like" her business, Joyful Portraits, on Facebook. She's a friend and local photographer from the Love Affair workshop.

Post-Pregnancy Running

I have logged numerous hours running on Swiss Avenue. I've run in the cold, in the heat, in the wind and in the traffic. I've been in the best shape ever, and I've had a baby bouncing on my bladder.

But nothing, NOTHING, could have prepared me for running with this post-pregnancy body.

There are things other moms don't tell you about - and for good reason.

All of my insides moved around when I was pregnant, and someone forgot to give them the memo that they were suppose return to their original locations.

For one, my lungs have ceased to work in rhythm with my legs. Running and breathing use to flow seamlessly in sync. Now I heave and gasp and clutch the stitch in my side.

And my legs, don't even get me started on my legs. I assumed that getting up and down off the floor with a 12 lb baby was the equivalent of doing some major squats every day. But apparently not because my quads went on strike with no word of when they'd be back. I started running and my legs had the gall to seize into tight wads of messy muscle.

Do you know how your abs pretty much melt away as your pregnant belly grows? As in POOF, they're gone. Forget sitting up or rolling over in bed. Naturally, I assumed that after having my baby my abs would reappear. Well, they've forgotten that they were suppose to come back after my stomach returned to it's original state. You try running with no ab muscles and see how far you get.

Speaking of the abdominal region - there's the little gift that pregnancy leaves behind. It's called a jelly belly. And it jiggles when you run - throwing you off balance and distracting you from breathing. And because my lungs aren't working right in the first place I can't afford any distractions.

Throw all of these lovely factors together and an activity that use to be such a mood enhancer for me has turned into more a beat down. But fear not, because the days are beautiful and the playlists on the iPod are new, and my Baby Jogger and I will find that running rhythm once again.

Sherry's Last Six Weeks Tea

Remember that AWESOME Sherry's Last Six Weeks Tea I talked about in Cannon's birth story?  I really think I made it to 3 cm and 60% effaced before even going in to labor because of that tea. I also think that I've had an overabundant milk supply because of that tea. I took it faithfully four times a day (breakfast, lunch, dinner and bedtime) starting six weeks before Cannon's due date.

I also took Sherry's 5W capsules, which contained herbs too bitter to put into a tea. I started taking those five weeks before Cannon's due date, one capsule with each cup of tea (breakfast, lunch, dinner and bedtime).  Three weeks before Cannon's due date I upped the capsule dosage to two capsules four times a day.

Five days before his due date Cannon arrived. After only eight hours of labor. Think what you will, but I hate to imagine what my labor would have been like had I not taken that tea.  Let's just say I'm thankful I don't have 36 hours of pain to write about in a birth story.

Many of you have asked where you can get this magical tea.  You have to order it through Sherry herself. I have phone numbers for her cell, her home and her store front, but don't feel comfortable putting them on the internet for all to see. So, if you'd like to contact her to purchase this tea for yourself, send me an email and I'll get you in touch with her.

She is the nicest midwife I've ever met. After a 10 minutes phone conversation, she was telling me to call her when I went into labor if I had any questions. I raved about her to Danny, and he was ready to fly her in for our birth!

If I remember correctly the tea was about $18 and the capsules were about $25. I still have TONS of loose leaf tea leftover, so it will be enough to last at least another pregnancy. Completely worth the investment in my opinion.

If you're interested, here are the ingredients and descriptions that came with the tea.

Red Raspberry Leaves: High in vitamins and minerals, particularly high in calcium. Citrate of iron content is the active blood-making, astringent and contractive agent; strengthens the walls of the uterus, quiets premature contractions and produces safe, speedy and easier delivery. Counteracts nausea, enriches the milk, and checks hemorrhage.


Squaw Vine: Uterine tonic making childbirth safe and easier; helps water retention and bladder infections; helps prevent miscarriage and vaginal discharge; a good female regulator.


Shepherd's Purse: High in vitamin C and K for blood clotting; prevents hemorrhage and profuse menstruation.


Spikenard Root: Old Indian remedy to make childbirth easy and shortens labor; excellent blood purifier; uterine tonic and eases backache.


Nettle: High in iron, silicon and potassium; prevents anemia and bleeding; blood purifier.


Comfrey Leaves: Healing and soothing effect on all organs; aids in digestion by promoting pepsin secretion; regulates blood sugar; prevents and checks hemorrhage.


Alfalfa Leaves: Contains protein, high in vitamins and minerals; particularly high in iron and calcium; blood purifier; high in vitamin K which helps the blood clotting factor; helps prevent anemia and is useful in reducing fever; contains all eight essential amino acids.


Blessed Thistle: Increases and enriches milk supply; aids circulation and prevents painful menstruation by regulating hormones; soothes the heart and stomach.


Peach Leaves: Effective for nausea and morning sickness; natural diuretic; soothes nerves and helps uterine and bladder problems; mild laxative.


Peppermint Leaves: Allays nausea and vomiting; relieves cramping and gas pains; relieves headaches and restlessness; TASTES GOOD!


Recommended Use:


Drink four cups daily: before meals and at bedtime. Use 1 tsp of tea per cup of boiling water. Steep 20 minutes, strain and add honey or lemon if desired. (Conversion: I put 3 tbsp in 8 cups boiling water. After steeping 20 minutes I strained and added 8 more cups of water. I put the tea in the fridge and it lasted me 5-6 days.)

Maternity Pictures by Gara Hill

So, we're three weeks into being parents, but let me back up to about three weeks before Cannon arrived.

While he was still tucked away safely my belly, we had maternity pictures taken to commemorate the time when our first child was much quiet and easier to cart around. Gara Hill blew us away with our photo shoot and I can't decide which are my favorite, so here I go bombarding you with more pictures.

(Note: Gara's edits have her logo on them, while the logo-less pictures are ones I edited. Check out Gara's website for more of her amazing photography. And, get ready, because she took Cannon's newborn pictures and they turned out even cuter than what you see below.)

Laboring in Love

There is something about laboring towards childbirth at home.

There is something about coming home and seeing the spaces, the bed, the bathtub, that particular spot on the floor, the blanket flung over the back of the chair, and all the places where you were in such intense pain that is haunting. Kristin said it best, it's like you come home to the ghosts - the ghosts of your laboring hours.

I never want to forget the midnight hours spent with Danny ushering our son into the world.

How Danny sprung into action so fast when I woke him up at 2:00 am on July 8th to tell him I was in labor that he fell off the exercise ball onto the floor.

How Danny brushed his teeth got dressed and then sat at the edge of the bed walking me through relaxation techniques and belly breathing while I groaned and squeezed his hand.

How EVERY time I opened my eyes Danny's brown eyes met mine and told me, both with and without words, that I COULD do this.

How Danny lit a candle and drew a warm bath for me when contractions were getting unbearable, and didn't complain when I sat in it through one contraction and said "That doesn't feel good," and promptly got out.

How Danny patiently and unceasingly squeezed my hips together to relieve some pressure while I labored on all fours on the floor.

How no matter what spot I moved to in the apartment Danny always brought the yoga mat and put it under my hands and knees so they wouldn't get worn out from the carpet.

How Danny continually changed the music, from peaceful rain, to roaring waves, to our relaxing playlist, to lullabies, to praise and worship.

How Danny sweated out the night and constantly changed the thermostat as I labored with chills (in a sweatshirt and pajama pants) and then a minute later was throwing everything off in a hot sweat.

How Danny never complained about his sleepless night, and yet I kept wondering how he wasn't falling asleep, as I was exhausted in between contractions and only the pain was keeping me from keeling over into bed.

How Danny played Cannon's song over and over again (Godspeed by the Dixie Chicks) and I prayed over and over again for God's speed and for Cannon's safe arrival.

How Danny always offered me food, afraid I wasn't getting enough nourishment to keep up my energy and then finally, finally made me eat one of those honey packets we'd snatched from Chick-fil-a.

How, when I wanted so badly to quit, so badly wanted to go to the hospital,  and begged him incessantly for an epidural that he looked at me and said, "Remember our goal. This is what we've practiced for. You didn't want an epidural remember? I KNOW you can do this."

I always want to remember laboring together in those early morning hours. How Danny never left my side and how only he and I will know what it was like to be in our apartment and then in that hospital room the morning that God caused Cannon to breathe life.

Savoring the Moments

There are alot of things to complain about when you're pregnant - fatigue, achiness, sleepless nights, heartburn, clothes that don't fit, lack of a waistline, feeling like a whale and on and on and on.

However, this little boy is due to arrive in four weeks (give or take some days depending his punctuality). I only have four more weeks to be pregnant.

Danny calls pregnancy something like the "in between" time. We knew life and marriage before our son, and we'll know life and marriage and family after he's born. But for now, we're waiting, living in the in between, waiting, just waiting for him to come.

Mothers tell me I'm going to miss it.

Miss feeling the little kicks. Miss having him with me all the time. Miss the smiles strangers give you at the grocery store. Miss how quiet and easy he is to cart around when he was on the "inside!"

For nine months of my son's life there were two hearts beating inside my body as he grew.

That thought stops me in my tracks more times during the day than any other.  There is a little brain inide of me. Eyes that will open and take in the world a floating in my womb. Two souls in my body.

For nine months the Lord grew life inside of me. And so I'm trying to soak up and rejoice in the aches and inconveniences that come with being two-in-one and simply revel in the miracle that the Lord choose to create life inside of life.

Bradley Birthing Class Graduation

About a month ago we completed our Bradley Birthing Class. And, while it's probably a little overzealous and very much like a first-time parent of me, I'll say we feel pretty prepared to labor and deliver little Stiller in July.

Our Bradley class was a great, hands-on resource to supplement all of our reading. It gave Danny and I a specific time to practice relaxation and laboring techniques together and also instigated some great conversations on childbirth for us.

I'd love to hear what birthing class you took and what you thought of it!

Baby Registry (Laura-style!)

Early on in my pregnancy I began asking tons of questions of friends - first about labor/delivery/birth then about STUFF!

In case you've never visited us (which you should - Dallas is fun - we eat - ALOT!), we live in a two-bedroom apartment. One of our bedrooms has served as the study/office for the last three years of school.

We just don't have TONS of space. So, after our first visit to Babies R' Us, I looked at Danny and said, "If we need one of everything in here then we're in BIG trouble."

So, I started asking friends, "What do I really need to have a baby?"

I got varying responses, but I also got numerous overlapping responses! In case you're in the process of "getting ready for baby" here are the results.

Shortest Ever Version (These were by far the most popular six items recommended by multiple people):

1. Miracle Blanket
2. Diaper Champ (because you can use your own trash bags)
3. Medala Pump In Style (this got more votes/thumbs up than any other item)
4. Boppy
5. sling/Moby Wrap 
6. bathing sponge (instead of a big plastic tub) 

Long Version (This is the minimalist list of baby stuff I compiled after reading numerous blogs, articles and responses from friends.)

• Laura's Baby Registry List

This is the spreadsheet I took with me to register so I wouldn't get carried away with registering for ONE OF EVERTHING.

We decided to register at two places to keep it simple:

• BuyBuyBaby - I liked the selection and layout better than Babies R Us
• MyRegistry.com - I wanted a way to register for cloth diapers (and yes, there's another blog post coming about diapers)

Q&A - because I've already received several quizzical looks and random questions about our registries:

• "You're not registered at Target?"
  We contemplated registering at Target because that is such a popular choice, but I found that everything that was available at Target was already available at BuyBuyBaby - I love simplicity - so I avoided the duplicity.
  
• "You didn't register for any clothes!"
  I barely registered for clothing. It overwhelms me. It seems so expensive for such little pieces of fabric, and I've heard you get lots of booties, hats, onsies, outfits, etc. at showers. So, I registered for the basics to get us through the first few days/weeks and if we don't get a single article of clothing as a gift, then I'll have time to run out to Once Upon a Child and buy a few things.
  
• "I didn't see a Boppy on your registry."
  I didn't register for a Boppy simply because I heard from several people that My Brest Friend was simply better - so I registered for that.
  
• "Why didn't you register for an exercauser or a Bumbo? You're going to need those."
  This could probably be another post for another day, but the short version is: I read a book on child development that said it's not developmentally not good to overstimulating babies with too many toys or prop them up in the "sitting" position before they can hold themselves up on their own. Based on that book and several of minimalist blogs I read, we just decided that the exercausers, bouncers, swings, and jumparoos were not "necessities" for us. And now ya'll have probably officially labeled me as that "crunchy, granola mom," but that's okay. Hopefully my child will survive without all the gizmos and gadgets. ;-)

Links I found helpful while compiling preparing to register:

• Pursuing Titus 2: If I Could Shop for My First Baby All Over Again
• Mommy Poppins: 5 Baby Gear Essentials for Living With Baby in a Small One Bedroom Apt
• Mamapedia: Indispensable Items for Our Newborn
• Blissfully Domestic: Useless Baby Stuff (And Some Good Stuff Too!)
• Blissfully Domestic: What Does Baby Really Need?
• Washington Post: Baby Products We Can Live Without
• The Natural Mommy: Reducing the Cost of Birth and Babies

Labor & Delivery Resources - Part 2 - Fun Recommendations

Okay, after all of those books what else could I possibly have time for in regards to learning about childbirth? All of the fun stuff!

Here I'll share some of the fun resources I've come across regarding pregnancy and becoming a parent.

Podcasts:

• Pregtastic - This is a podcast I found on iTunes by pregnant women for pregnant women. I am not a podcast kind of girl. It's all I can do to make it through one sermon - so the fact that I'm recommending a podcast to you tells you a) that it's good and b) it really captivated me.
  
  I didn't listen to these podcasts in order, instead, I went through the iTunes archives and downloaded the episodes that I wanted to learn more about: water birth, epidurals, strollers, baby registries, Birthing from Within, the Bradley method, etc.
  
  It seems that Pregtastic has covered every topic possible. They also podcast various birth stories from the women on their show, which was an encouraging reminder to me that women survive childbirth every day!

Nursery & Decorating Ideas:


These were a few blogs that I was particularly inspired by and from which I stole most of my creative ideas.

• Project Nursery
  
  
• Spearmint Baby
  
• Ohdeedoh

Photography Inspiration:

• Cole's Maternity Series - This was a fun photography project which was one of the blogs that spurred on our own little baby belly photography project.
  
• Dear Baby baby name announcement video - This fun video was where we stole our idea from for our own baby announcement video.

I'd love to know of any other fun pregnancy/childbirth resources ya'll have come across and LOVE!

Childbirth Resources - Part 1 - Book Recommendations

I've done alot of reading this pregnancy and people have asked my thoughts.  This is post one of two on pregnancy resources I'd recommend. This post will highlight books only - since I have quite a few thoughts and titles. The next post will highlight other resources I found useful.

Books I read that I would HIGHLY recommend:

• Your Best Birth by Ricki Lake
  Don't worry - Danny gave me enough grief about reading a birthing book by Ricki Lake that he saved all of ya'll the trouble. However, I didn't really know where else to start, I'd already watched her video (The Business of Being Born) months and months ago, and I ended up LOVING this book. It was an very readable, understandable introduction to childbirth. I thought it was would bash me over the head with natural childbirth, but I feel like it gave a very unbiased presentation of all types of childbirth (hospital, c-section, birthing center, etc.), which is why it was such a fabulous first read. It gave me a great overview and things to think about.

• Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way by Susan McCutcheon
  If you are thinking of having a natural/unmedicated childbirth you really shoudl read this book. I was forewarned (and very rightly sow) about the graphic pictures, but other than those I LOVED this book. It was the most practical and easy to understand book about how to prepare for the pain and endurance of labor.
  
  It gave a great overview of what goes on in your body during labor/delivery (most of which I had no idea), gave great explanations of the entier childbirth process, and then walked you step-by-step on positions, techniques and things to practice in order to be prepared for labor.  This book and our Bradley birthing classes calmed all of my fears about labor/delivery and have transformed our attitudes about childbirth from apprehension to excitement.

• Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin
  I could not put this book down. I absolutely LOVED all of the birth stories in the first half of the book. They were emotional, encouraging and inspiring. They also contained so many practical tips on getting through labor and delivery that I was taking notes the entire time.  The second half of the book was a very practical guide to having a natural/unmedicated labor & delivery. It is written from the perspective of women who give birth with midwives at home (or on the Farm) but I think most of the pain coping techniques are applicable even if you plan on having an epidural at the hospital. Ina May also gives a pretty good overview of risks and complications associated with different childbirth procedures.

• The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer
  This book contained tons of data and statistics and was also quite biased towards natural births at home - so it was a little tedious to get into. However, if you like stats and facts, then this might be a great read for you.
  
  Once I got into it though, this book provided a very thorough overview of the different birthing options and included some great questions to ask doulas, doctors, midwives, hospitals, birthing centers, etc.
  
  This was one of the last books I read, so it affirmed our desires to have an unmedicated birth, so if you're planning on delivery in a hospital with pain medication or a c-section you might not enjoy this read as much.

Books I read that I might recommend if you're wanting to go more indepth:

• Husband-Coached Childbirth by Robert BradleyThis was the second book I read on childbirth and I wish I would have put it more towards the bottom of the stack. Not because it wasn't good, it is just very indepth, very historical and was a little intense to get through and understand for someone without much understanding/background of labor/delivery. It did have some very prenatal exercises/stretchs/positions that were good and also briefly covered some pain-coping techniques. But overall, it was more about the history of the Bradley method than about practical tips for a pregnant mom.

Books on fitness/exercise during pregnancy:

• Maternal Fitness by Julie Tupler
  This was a great resource for mainting strength and endurance during pregnancy. My doctor told me I could continue running and working out up until delivery (obviously he's never run with a bowling ball in his belly before), so I wanted to do some research on exercise and physical fitness that was safe for a growing belly. The basic exercises/stretches were great and easy to do before bed. I also appreciated that she emphasized strengthening my core in preparation labor.

• The Alexander Technique Birth Book by Ilana Machover
  This book starts out with an overview of the Alexander Technique (simple movesments to ease physical strain). It was a little slow to read at first, but half-way through it gave GREAT descriptions of childbirth and provided cooping techniques that lined up with what I'd read in the Bradley books and Maternal Fitness. I felt confident in the exercises and stretches I was doing every day after reading about them in three different sources.

Books that I still want to read on childbirth (let me know if you've read any of these, or if you have any good recommendations that aren't on my list!)

• Easy Labor - William Camann
• Creating a Joyful Birth Experience - Lucia Cappachionne
• An Easier Childbirth - Gayle Peterson
• Enjoy Your Labor - Gilbert Grant
• Birthing from Within - Pam England
• Childbirth without Fear - Grantly Dick-Read
• Active Birth - Janet Balaskas
• A Good Birth, A Safe Birth - Diana Korte
• Birth without Violence - Frederick Leboyer 
• Pregnancy Childbirth and the Newborn - Penny Simkin
• Gentle Birth Choices - Barbara Harper
• How to Relax and Have Your Baby - Edmund Jacobson
• The Birth Partner - Penny Simkin
• Fearless Pregnancy - Victoria Clayton

What I'd Do Differently

(I started this blog post several months ago, so it was even more comical at the time.)

The other day I told Danny, "The next time we get pregnant I am going to do things a little differently."

He looked at me with a look that said, "You've been pregnant for two minutes. What do you have to do differently?"

Well, let me tell you - because that's what you do on a blog. You tell other people how they should do things based on how you do/would do things!

So, being six months wiser about pregnancy than I was . . . well, six months ago, here's my two cents.

I would rejoice earlier. 
When we first found out we were pregnant, and almost through the entire first trimester, I was terrified to think about anything "baby-related" for fear that something would happen and I would be horribly broken-hearted. That's dumb. That's not walking in faith that God's plan is best for my life. That's missing out. Next time I'd choose to experience the highest highs even while risking the depths of despair.


I would start off reading ONLY birthing books.  
I got baby name books, baby bargian/review books, breastfeeding books, sleep books and birthing books from the library right from the start. Well, first things first - I have to get this kid out of me - so I wish I would have streamlined and prioritized the reading list a little bit.


I'll have an entire blog post dedicated to resources and books I've found invaluable. It's coming.

I would interview several Bradley Birthing Instructors

The next thing I would have done differently is contact a few local Bradley instructors and asked to sit in on a class to observe their teaching style and methods. I didn't know this was an option until I read it in a birthing book - if only I'd read that first instead of reading reviews on various organic hooded towels.

I would have chosen my doctor differently

After choosing a Bradley instructor we liked and felt we could learn from, I'd ask that instructor for local doctor recommendations. Bradley instructors know and can recommend doctors/hospitals/midwives who are natural-childbirth-friendly. It didn't cross my mind that most likely Bradley instructors have come in contact with all kinds of doctors all over the metroplex (or at least they've heard about those doctors from their students!)!

For various reasons (some medical) that I'd be more than happy to discuss via phone/email, I felt that I needed to stick with my current ob/gyn. He was familiar; he knew my medical history. And besides, I didn't know who else I'd switch to - other than someone closer to Dallas than a doctor who offices out of Plano Presbyterian Hospital.

We are still asking lots of questions of my current doctor, but I think it would have been smarter of us to get a few "natural-birth-friendly" doctor recommendations and interview them before we found ourselves committed to one practice. I like our doctor, and I trust him (really, I trust Danny to communicate/stand up to him), but I think I would have more confidence in our natural birthing goal being supported if we had done a little more research. (And yes, I know it's NEVER too late to switch - but I don't do well with change. Throw my third trimester hormones in the mix - and let's just say, stability is good right now.)

And, there you have it - just a few of the things I would have done and probably will do differently next time.

Medicated vs. Unmedicated Childbirth

Danny gave me an ultimatum. I have until 30 weeks (that's THIS week for those who haven't been counting) to decide if we're doing this whole childbirth thing unmedicated or not.  That's right - I have to pick, because in his mind if he's going to coach me and encourage me in something he wants to know what the end goal is. Okay, that's logical.

So, my obsessive compulsive disorder saw that deadline and immediately bumped up the reading . . . and the crying . . . and the freaking out.

Until one day, I just decided. I want to try this.

I feel like I need to have good, strong, convicting reasons as to why I'm probably, not-fully-committed to, but most likely going to try for a natural, unmedicated labor and delivery.

I think I need these logical reasons because alot of people look at me crossed-eyed and like I've grown two heads (instead of just a bigger belly) when I talk about our Bradley classes and possibly not wanting an epidural.

But I don't have any mind-blowing reasons.

I just want to try it. For no other reason that I want to see if I can do it.

I wanted to see if I could run a marathon. So I trained and I did it. With this child in my abdomen.

Part of me wants to see if I can have an unmedicated birth. I want to feel that child move, shift and be born. I want to see if I can relax through the contractions. I want to see if a warm tub of water makes it feel "better." (Better being a very relative here.) I want to see if I FREAK out at the transition stage to the point of telling Danny I quit and then surviving that to see if I get than undeniable urge to PUSH.

And so I'm going to train. I'm going to practice relaxing, breathing, moving into different positions.

I ran a marathon and it hurt like heck. For DAYS afterwards. Muscles I didn't even know I had were sore. But I'm glad I did it.

I have a feeling that the reward from giving birth is a little bit better than the medal and sense of accomplishment you get from crossing a finish line at the American Airlines Center. A birthing high had BETTER be BETTER than a runner's high.

I also want to avoid the epidural/Pitocin cycle. I would LIKE to feel my legs after I deliver - at least I think I would. I would also like to avoid the insane pain that comes with Pitocin and NO epidural. And, I even more so want to avoid a c-section. 

And so, those are my reasons, nothing profound or deep, nothing spiritual or moral, nothing right or wrong. That's just what I want. If it's not what you want(ed) that's totally fine. 

I almost didn't write this post. I don't want to be a childbirth fanatic. I don't want you to be afraid that I'm going to beat you over the head with my Bradley book when I find out you're pregnant until you relax and take deep belly breaths. I just wanted to do my research. And several of you asked what I've been discovering during all my research, so here's this post.

My friend, Becky, wrote a great blog post and got a great discussion going on this very topic on supporting one another in our differing decisions over here. 

The Marathon Labor

Do you know that everyone compares childbirth to running a marathon?

EVERYONE - don't look at me like I'm being dramatic - the Bradley books, my birthing instructor, other moms/dads in our birthing class - EVERYONE.

I always keep my mouth shut.

None of them (espeically not the Bradley authors) know I've run a marathon. None of them know I wanted to quit half-way through. None of them know how many days I woke up sore afterwards.  None of them know that not even Pink and Lady Gaga could get me thru the wall at Mile 16. They all talk about the high you get after delivering a baby and say it's JUST like the runners high.

REALLY?! THE RUNNERS' HIGH?  (My voice doesn't get much higher than this!)

All I have to say is that birthing a baby had better be SOOOOOO much better than a runners high.

A little adrenaline combined with sweat, a stitch in my side, cramps in my legs and burning lungs (which I am already telling myself is NOTHING compared to childbirth) makes an epidural sounds pretty darn AWESOME right about now.

So, if you've run a marathon and delivered a child - I'd love to hear your comparison, your two cents, your thoughts on this analogy!

The Heart of Pregnancy

Something happens when you get pregnant.

All emotions come at you at once: excitement, thrill, joy, awe . . . fear, worry, anxiety.

On Nov. 13, 2009, my 28th birthday, I journaled:

You have given me grace, redemption, salvation and breath - today.

The fear of never having children, never having a dream job, never having close, intimate friendships (like in collage) cripple me into idolatry. I start seeking those things instead of the Lord because I'm confused into thinking they will satisfy me.

But if my womb never carries a child, if I never leave the house for a job I LOVE, if I never have a BEST friend, Your grace is still enough.

I was already pregnant at the time - I just didn't know it.

So, you might say it was easy to write those things - I got what I wanted.

I don't know how the idolatry of your heart works - but mine doesn't go away so easily. I went from wanting a child to wanting a HEALTHY, PERFECT child. I'm greedy like that. And I was scared - scared to make plans and dream for our baby for fear I'd have a miscarriage or something would go wrong.

And so, two weeks later, on Nov. 27, 2009, I journaled:

"Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this [man was born blind] so that the work of God might be displayed in his life." - John 9:3

"Lazarus is dead, and for your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe." - Luke 11:14

You are the GOOD shepherd. I want my baby to grow healthy and strong. I don't want to have a miscarriage. But all is for Your glory. The man was born blind, Lazarus died - all tragic at the moment they happened. But it was in Your plan; it was for your glory.

And Your plan for this baby is all for Your glory.

And so began the journey of the miracle of birth in my body.

I began to surrender control: If I eat perfectly, then I'll deserve a healthy baby. If I exercise and listen to classical music, I'll deserve a smart baby. If I read all of the right books, I'll have a smooth labor and a baby that sleeps through the night and breastfeeds on the first try.

Not that I would ignore doing any of those things, but God is going to create my son's inmost being and knit him together in my womb according to His plan, not mine - for His glory, not mine.

And so, parenting already has it's sanctifying fingers wrapped around my heart, pulling me to trust, tugging at me to rest in Him in ways I've never had to before.

God is knitting a child together in my womb, and he will be perfect in all the ways God has planned. God does not make mistakes. And, even if things don't go according to MY plans, God is still good and it's all still for His glory.

Labor & Delivery Questions for our Doctor

I got most of these questions for my doctor from the same sources I got the hospital questions: Baby Lists and Your Best Birth.

First Round of Doctor Questions

1. How much fetal monitoring do you do during labor? Do you allow intermittent fetal heart rate monitoring?
2. Under what circumstances do you recommend a c-section? What is your c-section rate?
3. How often do you cut episiotomies? How often do you opt for a natural tear? Is there anything you can do to help prevent my having an episiotomy? Do I have to have local anesthetic for an episiotomy or can I have a pressure episiotomy?
4. How many of your clients deliver babies without medication?
5. How many of your clients are induced? How long past the due date will you allow me to go before scheduling an induction?
6. Right after my baby is born what is the normal routine for nursing/cord cutting/etc?
7. How many centimeters do I have to dilate every two hours in order NOT to be induced? How long do I have after my water breaks before I'll be induced?
8. How long will you let me push so long as I and the baby are doing fine?
9. Do you have a time limit for producing the placenta? Do I have to have Pitocin to deliver the placenta?

Overall, I'm very comfortable with our doctor an his responses to our questions. 

Neither he, nor the hospital do alot of natural/unmedicated  births - they do a TON of scheduled inductions and c-sections because apparently Plano women get "tired" of being pregnant.  Normally that would make me nervous, but I do know another mom who had an unmedicated labor/delivery with my doctor at the same hospital and felt fully supported in her decision.

And now I realize I've been asking questions along the lines of natural/unmedicated labor and delivery, so don't worry - there's a blog post coming about that touchy topic as well.

I didn't want to overwhelm my doctor with my "interview" for fear he'd fire me as his patient. So, I'm saving these secondary questions for subsequent visits.

Second Round of Doctor Questions:

1. When should I go to the hospital?
2. How often do you augment labor? How many moms are put on Pitocin?
3. What percentage of moms get epidurals?
4. If you're unavailable when I'm in labor, what is the back-up plan? Can I meet that doctor(s) before my due date?
5. At what point in labor will you arrive?
6. Do you allow a doula/midwife/friends/family to be present while I'm in labor?
7. Do you encourage movement and positioning during labor?
8. Will I be required to deliver lying down?

Hospital Questions for Labor & Delivery - Follow Up

A few weeks ago I wrote about our Hospital Questions before going on our tour of Plano Presbyterian.

Ya'll gave some fabulous feedback and additional things to think about.

Our tour was small (four other couples), given by a very friendly nurse and addressed many of our questions before we even asked. Although I did ask so many questions that at one point that the nurse made the assumption that this was NOT our first child, that I had "done this before." I laughed and told her, "No, I just read . . . ALOT." Yes, I know, it's a little bit of a sickness.

A few things I didn't realize before going on the tour were:

• Hospitals are competing for our business. Apparently there are other hospitals in the area who serve lobster as a way to get you in the door. With that in mind, we tried to listen objectively and discern if we were just being told "what we wanted to be told."
  
• Doctors give the orders. If my doctor is supportive of our birth plan, then the nurses will follow his instructions.
  
• Some of our questions (mostly regarding the practices of keeping the mother with the baby) were totally out-dated. 

I've come to the conclusion that I will feel most comfortable in a hospital setting, even if we decide that we want a natural/unmedicated labor/delivery. I've never had a baby before, and while I've had no complications thus far in my pregnancy, it would ease my mind to be at a place where medical help is instantly available should anything be abnormal or wrong.

With that choice to deliver in the hospital, I've also come to realize that I'll probably be making the following compromises:

• I'll have to have a Hep-Lock (an IV if they deem it necessary)
• I'll have to have fetal monitoring (intermittently if everything we are doing okay).
• My labor has to progress at a satisfactory rate (1 cm every 2 hours), otherwise they'll augment it with Pitocin.
• I won't be allowed to eat anything while at the hospital.

It was encouraged that if we were going to have a natural/unmedicated labor/delivery that we ask for a nurse who has experience in unmediated births.  Overall, I was very pleased with the hospital and the staff and, other than the quasi-long distance up the Tollway, am glad we'll be having Baby Boy there in just a few short months.

The day after our hospital tour we had our 28-week appointment with my doctor, so in my next post I'll share some of the questions we ran by him during that visit.

This Thing Called Labor . . .

We had our second birthing class last night.

 

For those of you on Twitter and Faceboook you already know that it resulted in my first (but probably not only) freak out and emotional break down afterwards.

 

And, since you have been here all along - through the announcement of our pregnancy, to telling our parents the exciting news, to our continued wrestle over baby names, to finding out it's going to be a Danny Jr., to our DIY nursery plan to our crazy belly shots - I thought you should be along for the roller coaster that are my emotions when it comes to childbirth.

 

We watched a video in birthing class on natural childbirth. Basically it showed four or five births back-to-back. And, while a part of me did want to tear up each time that baby popped out and they put it on the mother's chest, with each birth I wanted nothing more than to turn that TV off.

 

Do you know how emotionally draining it is to watch five women go through the agonizing pain of birthing a baby - especially when you have one kicking his little reminder to you from inside your abdomen that he's growing BIGGER and BIGGER (emphasize the BIGGER!) and there's only one way he can get out?

 

As the video ended, the instructor asked what we thought, and no one said much at all. I can only imagine I wasn't the only one writhing in fear.

 

I held the tears back, but the minute we were in the car and Danny asked me what I thought, the waterworks started and I burst out, "I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT! I DON'T THINK I CAN DO THAT! BUT THERE'S NO TURNING BACK NOW AND I'M FREAKING OUT!"

 

And so, here we are in the middle of pregnancy. I've been reading up a storm, telling Danny all about natural childbirth to the point that he's totally convinced and ready to coach me through hours of labor and all I want is an epidural - a very STRONG epidural.

 

Go ahead and laugh. I give you permission. Pregnancy hormones are funny . . . until you're in the middle of them.

 

Give me three months and in my sleep-deprived state I'll look back and laugh with you at the drama that was me trying to figure out this thing called childbirth, probably all-the-while wistfully remembering how much more restful and quiet it was carrying our son inutero.